Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
