is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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