We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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