May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Alive.
So much puke
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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