marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
