can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
