Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
