I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
