just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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