she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
