HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
