$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
