I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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