and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
