I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
