and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
