wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
