i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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