Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
