dude i'm inner monologue high
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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