I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
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My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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