you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
