Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
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he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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