Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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