I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
PS: I just woke up from my shower
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
