If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
