Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
