do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
