I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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