i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
we're so committed to being not committed
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