I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
