You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
