She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Damn victory sex feels great
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
