i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
