That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
