Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
