Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
