well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
