Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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