I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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