weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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