I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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