I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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