Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize