I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
