my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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