You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
What a dumb baby whore.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
