I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
