I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize