i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
