i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Never underestimate the power of titties
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
