My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
There was a lot of him and a little penis
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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