I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
