I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
