He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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