i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
