just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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