NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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