why didn't you poke me back
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
