Who wears a wallet chain?!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.