Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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